Biggest Fear
Introduction
Tenisha
Welcome back to another episode of Black Girl Fly. I'm your girl, Tenisha Nicole.
Tashaunda
And I'm Tashaunda Dixon.
Tenisha
And today, we're going to be talking about What is your biggest fear?
Tashaunda
I think our audience is getting tired of it.
Tenisha
And I love that. Somebody give me a soundboard, please, because that was a special effect. And I don't know that many. So sorry. Sorry. So there is fear. Hmm.
Biggest Fear
Tashaunda
I would say my biggest fear would be to, like, I don't know, it's like a combination of, like, not made an impact and end to be forgotten.
Tenisha
Mm hmm. Are those too. Is that true? Or is it just taboo together?
Tashaunda
Like, because I feel like. Like people can forget me, but as long as I made an impact, I wouldn't care. But I guess, though, it's like, oh.
Tenisha
It's my impact. Oh, and so then you would say impact is the highest one. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting. Mine is actually very similar.
Tashaunda
OK.
Tenisha
But I describe it a little differently. And this has been my biggest fear since I was a kid.
Tashaunda
Really hasn't.
Tenisha
Changed. It hasn't changed. And I was just trying to think like, oh, is it different now? But I think it's still the same. So I say, running out of time. Right. OK, And so I'm not actually afraid of death. I am afraid of heights.
Tashaunda
That's a different story, but unrelated.
Tenisha
Unrelated. But I am afraid that I won't be able to do all the things that I'm supposed to before my time is up.
Tashaunda
So with that, though, like, do you know the things that you're supposed to do?
Tenisha
Air quotes Yes and no. OK. Yes and no.
Tashaunda
OK, so, you know, you have to latter. Yes, I do. Yes or no? It's not a thing.
Tenisha
I mean, yes and no. I mean, I've had some visions since I was a kid, which you already know about, but I actually understand them a little differently. Now. But, yeah, I mean, I think I'm supposed to have impact around, you know, being a light for people, which I think I do actually today. And so by a light, it's like living my truth so that other people can.
Tashaunda
Live there.
Tenisha
And do the same. Right. As a quote. And I think the really the the important part about that is that I'm just being authentic and true to myself. And then the actual just, you know, unintentional benefit is that other people will be inspired. Right. And so I think that's one of them. There is another piece around education.
Tashaunda
Children So with that, though, is that a check? You fulfilled it.
Tenisha
Like, I think I'm actively living in that.
Tashaunda
Well, so I mean, so you so you said your biggest fear is not doing all or running out of time to do those things. So wouldn't you put a checkmark by there and like, yep, I did that.
Tenisha
Well done. Yeah. So it's not just that one I think is it's like a few of them, right? You're like the things that I'm supposed to do. And so so yeah, I think that one is in progress. I don't know that it's done. So, yeah, so.
Tashaunda
That's my challenge. This is where I kind of go with it. Like, I feel like in my life, I do have goals I have short term goals, and I have some long term goals. And what I'm finding is that I'll reach those goals and I'll check them off. And then more things will appear to me, like, okay, so now our goals.
Tashaunda
Yeah. So now you.
Tenisha
Guys.
Tashaunda
And so so my question about running out of time, are they that's probably the difference my mindset. Like, I can't I can be like, oh, I didn't get to go to two years from now, but I'm ticked off so many of these things.
Tenisha
See, that's a different mindset or not. Time bound. Okay. I think there are these like big ideas that, you know, I mean, I got them 20 years ago and I still have been a year.
Tashaunda
Like, you're just like come in bigger. Like, I want to create a country. And so now you're like, I'm in seasons now, but like years like not there yet, but I'm close because I already got all the money together. Now I'm scoping out the land.
Tenisha
Exactly. That's exactly how mine are. But it's how I mean, given our personality, I can't say that I'm surprised. You know, we have these different types of goals. You're like, OK, two years means I do this. And then in four years, this happens.
Tashaunda
Well, I do. So what I'm finding, too, is that my goals are going off on a tangent, but my goals are kind of all relate to one another. Yeah, but if I it's like growth on top of that. Like, I can't see past it until I can get through through the.
Tenisha
Pipeline that's in front of me.
Tashaunda
Yes.
Tenisha
Interesting. So but I think so I think your goal, the way you stated it, I mean, your fear, the way you stated it at the beginning, like you're already there. You don't feel like you've achieved that.
Tashaunda
I feel like I've affected a small population.
Tenisha
You didn't specify the population that needed to be in here.
Tashaunda
So you're asking me if I die today, would I? Yeah. We have.
Tenisha
You know, completed your mission here on Earth.
Tashaunda
I don't think I would have.
Tenisha
But why what is the qualifier?
Tashaunda
I think it's I need to quantify it. I think that I do feel that there are people in this world that I definitely impact it, but not.
Tenisha
The magnitude.
Tashaunda
To which I want. Yeah. So maybe I have to quantify that.
What's preventing you from Reaching your Goals?
Tenisha
Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm like, so what do you think then is preventing you from getting to the magnitude that, you know, that it is you're supposed to impact.
Tashaunda
I'm going to say all my multiple priorities right now. My four children.
Tenisha
I'm going to say distraction. And then you said children. I guess that's a better way No kids.
Tashaunda
Well, no, I, I think there's stages in life. And, and right now there is ecosystems that I'm impacting and I just haven't gotten to the, the stage yet of the level of impact that I think will be my more ultimate or more final position, if you will.
Tenisha
Sounds so like you're like, oh, god, it's like giving me shivers over here.
Tashaunda
But yeah. So that's probably my biggest fear. Um, I think about, like, the things that are important to me, like, this is going to sound really, I don't know, interesting, I guess. Uh, I don't want to leave my kids broke. Um.
Tenisha
That's one thing why does that sound weird?
Tashaunda
Um, I don't know, because, you know, we didn't grow up in a space where, but, like, I'm like, my kids are going to be well off because I'm going to make sure they're well off. Mm hmm. That's kind of something that's important. I'm fearful that I wouldn't be able to do that with magnitude, but I'd like to do it now.
Tashaunda
I have to.
Tenisha
Well, what do you consider? Because, you know, when we were when we were younger with $50,000 was.
Tashaunda
And I know.
Tenisha
I mean, I'm just curious. You don't have to share.
Tashaunda
Well, it's more about it's, it's, it's not like a definite amount. It's more about being in the position where their money makes money. Um, and I want it to be enough, I guess, for the financial financially, for each of them.
Tenisha
Is that your responsibility?
Tashaunda
It's not like what I want to do. Yeah. I don't think it's my responsibility, but I want to do it. And the reason I want to do it is because I want to give my kids freedom to really pursue things that they're interested in.
Tenisha
Right. Like, I would like what is freedom for a seven year old? What is you know, I'm trying to get to a number so.
Tashaunda
That so I think if I could provide 50,000 annual OK for my.
Tenisha
Kids. That's helpful. I'm sorry, guys. I need some specifics. Okay.
Tashaunda
And so my thing is, is I want their their bare needs to be met. And so they don't have to make bad decisions or uncomfortable position that it's not ideal for who they are.
Tenisha
Right. And do you have I'm like in all being your business right now, cause I've never this is I would like to is there. And so what exactly is the strategy for this?
Tashaunda
So it's kind of my own retirement strategy, a combination of of businesses and real estate and what I'm doing.
Tenisha
OK. OK. I'm following now people. I was like, I've never heard of this.
Tashaunda
Like, somebody was asking me. They're like, will you sell your house? I was like, I'll probably never sell my house. There's no point in selling my house. Um, I'll keep growing my assets.
Tenisha
Right, right, right. Yeah. We're gonna talk about that on another episode because I have another question about selling homes, but. Yeah, so OK, so is that the only you know, when we say impact the people you sold in specifically on a smaller ecosystem but I'm guessing beyond that, there is actually a larger stage.
Tashaunda
Yeah. No, not so. So I was actually saying that that was a secondary fear that I wouldn't leave my kids in the finance. Oh, okay. Okay. As far as impact, I mean, impact for me comes from investing in people. I actually think that the biggest thing that I can do is kind of similar I'm saying it out loud.
Tashaunda
It's kind of similar to what you were saying, but showing people what they're capable of. Mm hmm. Showing people that their background their history, their whatever, doesn't limit who they can become, can become.
Tenisha
But I can tell you, we have two different ways about going about this people.
Tashaunda
We do. We do.
Tenisha
She's a very people centered approach. I am. And I'm more hands off.
Tashaunda
Yeah. No. So it's so funny, though, because I think that you and like, if I you know, I embody this, you know, who will see it? And I'm like, if I feed them, they will see it in themselves.
Tenisha
That is exactly the difference in our approach is yes, yes.
Tashaunda
Yes, yes, yes. And so I do a lot of that. I mean and I do it in really my day to day now. So I do like that. I've been able to kind of separate my personal lives. I used to do it a lot in my personal life, and I found that it was really draining and really exhausting because there were no boundaries.
Tashaunda
And now I do it most likely in like a work environment.
Tenisha
And is it less draining?
Tashaunda
It is less draining because I can cut it off because I have I have this parameter around that actually during this time of the day, you know, I you know, this is the scope of our discussions and, you know, and you can't infringe on things outside of that.
What's holding you back?
Tenisha
Right. Right. OK, I think this this is super interesting. So what will we tell people? Well, what do we do with this information? I'm like, we have these fears You know, something that I that I say is like lean into the fear. And, you know, if it makes you scared, that means you have to do it. Like, that's actually what I would say to us right now.
Tenisha
Like like I ask, well, why aren't you doing that? What's holding you back from doing that to the magnitude that you want? And I think the problem is you having to find the magnitude.
Tashaunda
Yeah, I would say so. That's what I think it is, though. I think it is. We know that everything that's a goal should be a plan. Right. And for me, the takeaway is if you know what your fears are or what your fear is before dying, then you know what it is that you have to accomplish. And so stop allowing it to be a fear.
Tashaunda
I'm talking to myself I'm listening.
Tenisha
I need to hear this.
Tashaunda
And make it a plan. So and we know how to make a plan, right? Like like, you know, the goal. Break it down into feasible chunks and then schedule it, you know, to make sure you have dates assigned to when you accomplish it. And it's so much more logical. When I'm sitting on the mike.
Tenisha
I know I'm like, it sounds so easy. Why have I had these 20 year for, you know, for years?
Tashaunda
Let's just be clear. You know, that came out really easy. But I'm not saying that it is, but yeah, if you know what you're fearful of, work towards it. Make sure you get it done so it's no longer hanging over your head.
Tenisha
And I'm like, I feel like I just want to challenge myself and say it actually is easy. I feel like we did this take this convoluted road to like get to it.
Tashaunda
Well, not only I mean, the fact that we identified it as our biggest fear means that we've also made it like this, you know, like. Yeah, like, yeah. And so we have to, to break it down, you know? Yeah. One bite at a time.
Timeline
Tenisha
So how long are you going to give yourself now to accomplish these goals? We talked about two.
Tashaunda
I think I can get this done in two to three years.
Tenisha
I love it. I love it so well.
Tashaunda
And it's not say so. I think that in my mind I've kind of planned some of it that I have an idea, right? I just had made this concrete like thing, but I do have things that I'm moving towards my life. That is all to get to that space.
Tenisha
So that yeah. And I think for me, like, I can say the same the same timeline, two to three years, I actually think probably all of us could stay the same thing. But I think what it requires is us making a decision. And I think that actually is the hardest thing to do when we're talking about making a change or like, you know, doing something of this magnitude.
Tenisha
And I will go back to the earlier point, too, about distractions like you know, your kids are not a distraction, like they're part they're part of what you're trying to do. But we do get distracted by other things. So I bet you if you really dug into it, there are some other distractions. I know for me, I'm like, oh, instead of making $1 million business, I'm like trying to spread myself too thin across three different businesses.
Tenisha
And that way it's really hard to make $1,000,000, right? But if actually you just laser focus on the one, get to your million and then you can go to the other ones, right? Like that's just a concrete example of how you can just cut the other stuff off. Because realize when you say yes to things, you're saying no to other things.
Tenisha
Yeah. So I think when you're accepting these distractions, you're saying no to the to the goal or the fear.
Tashaunda
Yeah, no, I agree. And before you said that, I thought about something else to you. I read this article or something that said that we as humans, we tend to overplaying for a year, like we try to put more things in a year than we can, but we always underplaying for five years. Oh, that we don't realize though, the amount of things that we can accomplish in a five year plan but we concentrate on the year and we always try to overdo it in that year.
Takeaways
Tenisha
Year, preach. I know. I love planning. So this just spoke to my soul, this whole DevOps you know? Oh, go back to my vision right so I don't know that. No, I feel like we could just drop the mike jobs. Drop the mike. Yeah. So step over planning for your one year in start well that stop over planning for your one year in stop under planning for your five year.
Tenisha
Thank you. Until next time, people. I'm your girl, Tenisha Nicole, and I'm Tashaunda Dixon and we are Black Girl Fly.